Multiplication is Magic

Drawing by Evlyn M

The only people who have ever done magic have been executed by the primary religion or are in hiding and the player characters probably don’t even know about any of them except one or two executed wizards. (No magic classes are available to players.)

If a player character ever starts to use multiplication, they’ll feel an intense surge that resembles drinking too much coffee. If they actually finish a multiplication operation, a spell will be cast.

Now everyone in the party is a wizard, if they’re foolish enough.

Division teleports you and everyone nearby to the Underdark/Veins of the Earth. Division down below casts spells there. Multiplication has no effect in the depths.

Doing square roots collapses the mathematician’s lungs.

Drawing perfect geometric shapes causes supernatural mutations.

Other kinds of math have no effect whatsoever.

Correctly multiplying a negative number by anything grants a wish and sets the apocalypse in motion.

Example: a player character says “4 torches each. There are three of us, so that’s 12 torches.” Now, use a list of spells and randomly choose a spell. I’d probably just use the 12th entry of the wizard section from the short concise list of traditional spells. This means the character would, without warning, cast a 5x10ft cone of flames in whatever direction their palms happen to be exposed to.

Spell Consultation

A fire spell might be consulted to learn whether a strange material is flammable. An ice spell might be consulted to learn how much longer winter will last. A bewitch spell might give advice about improving social status with the local elite. A knock spell might explain something about the workings of a door rather than merely opening it.

This consultation is not a simple siphoning of information from an ancient text the spellcaster has memorized. The spell manifests as an incorporeal, transparent personality visible only to the caster, who appears to be speaking to himself, in his own voice and in another, strange voice that he thinks fits the personality of the spell. He is not doing this for comfort, fun, or drama; it's a necessary result of the consultation. To avoid appearing even more insane and eccentric than casters usually appear, many prefer to find somewhere private when consulting a spell. Time constraints often prevent this, of course.

The spells translate their thoughts into words, but they don't translate the spell's manner of thought. Their perspectives might sometimes be a bit cryptic, overcomplicated, or simplistic.

When commanding a knock spell, a caster who asks, "Tell me about this door," might be told, "This portal wants greasy disease to flow." This might be a warning about a poisonous doorknob or it might be a hint about applying oil to the keyhole. Hopefully, the caster will continue the conversation if the answer is not clear.

(I probably stole this idea from somewhere, somehow. I have no idea. I've been reading everything OSR, all the time.)

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Mechanics

Instead of allowing a spell to have its usual effect, a spellcaster may expend the spell to speak aloud to a manifestation of the spell. The spell is an expert on relevant information. Only the caster will be able to see or hear the manifestation. Those nearby will hear the words the spell is speaking coming from the caster's lips, as if he is speaking nonsense to himself.

If you use a standard OSR D&D sort of thing, this effect increases with spellcaster level. [Level]x10 = # of minutes the conversation may last.

If you use GLOG, use: [sum]x10 = # of minutes the conversation may last.